Heartless ...

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Girl: I-I need space. I need the time to just figure out who I am, you know? And it’s not you, it’s totally not you, it’s me and it’s, like, the timing of it. I’m trying to find out who I am, and I can’t really do that if I’m still trying to find out who you are at the same time, you know?
Guy: Uh, can I get an extra plate please?

Girl: I feel like we gave it a really good go, you know? but it’s just, it’s time for us to move on…
…
Guy: For you…
Girl: You do realize I’m breaking up with you, right?
Guy: That’s the strange thing. It’s actually yours now. I don’t know why it works this way but, I’m never gonna be able to get over you, and so, from now on, every girl that I meet will be meticulously compared to you and, unfortunately, none of them will be able to measure up to the false memory of what you and I once “had”.
Girl: Well, maybe I can just keep it for a little while, like, use it for small things, like, I don’t know, when I have really shitty day or I need someone to talk to. Or if I need someone to move something really heavy. And then, eventually, I’ll give it back to you when we both find someone new.
Guy: Unfortunately, it won’t work that way.
Girl: Why not?
Guy: Well, now that you have my heart, I’m pretty much an empty cavity inside, for a lack of a better term: heartless. I will now treat each woman I meet with a passive-aggressive contentiousness that will ruin relationship after relationship for many years to come.
…
Girl: I really treasure your friendship, so much. Hello? Are you even listening to me?
Guy: No.

[ G.G. ... ]